.addicted.

it was another saturday,but it was different caused i was working.it was nice a few from my favoutite bunch were waiting for me to finish working and were hanging around taka.it felt so good and appreciated.ahah.head down to lido for bites.im still jealous nufail went for rachael yamagata.it was an awesome concert i heard.i still wish i was there.darns.

headed to well, no suprise here, simpang for supper with the favourite bunch.took pictures at the shit park/playground. all 5 of us pretty girls.hahaha.my stomachs pretty upset these days. ive been binging on junk food. really. and i havent been eating well, again.all in all, im losing weight again. tremendously.maybe its cause im working again.ugh.

wan, honestly i don't know how you feel.they'll be lying if they said they knew. and i know none of us can do anything about it right now, but i really wish you'll feel better, somehow. you can always call to talk or ask me to crack a joke randomly. take care love.

im ashamed to have gotten to know someone like you.ashamed, and somehow it's really getting to me. right now. it really is. i'll find a way to rid the feeling, eventually.it really, really hurts.more than i could have wished or imagined.i'll just digress.

But I'll always think of all the things you did
To let me know that you love me
But you're leaving
Even so

*brownsugar* rant at Sunday, March 18, 2007 .

300 was almighty awesome.im suddenly a movie buff. thanks to my movie partner =].who, without a doubt, has fucking awesome picks. i've never ever regretted watching any of it with you. even in the front row.i can't wait for simpsons.ack. can't wait.
i think im no pro when it comes to bowling.when you need a size 9....

it feels empty,sad and it seriously annoying. i feel annoyed.annoyed.annoyed.it has been a pretty bad week for me whenever im all alone at home.the relic.im really reaaly waiting to embrace that beatific feeling all over again. if it ever happens.honestly, without doubt, he's incomprehensible.

ill excuse myself now and leave the memories vividly in my head.

*brownsugar* rant at Wednesday, March 14, 2007 .

hello world. ok no.

i hate making decisions. period. and im in such a complicated position where everyones absolutely vulnerable. its easy for you to say but have you ever thought how i'd feel.well, everyone's too caught up with what they want and feel and im trying to make a decision and to stick by it but there are factors stopping me from doing so.

well, my friends think im going to score like Z for exams cause i know how to answer their questions and ask them to keep on studying. the truth is, ive started studying earlier so i won't kanchong spider at this period of time where you wanna intensive study but then you can't cause you're too tired and nervous for exams. no matter how many many times i've taken papers, im still all nervous about it.so guys, im NOT going to get a Z. =) so sorry to disappoint.haha. but ayu and wan should stop talking when studying cause sadrina said you guys were talking and sadrina shouldn't freak out cause ive kinda stopped studying for MLS. you silly girl. everyone's going to do fine. and lina, i wanna go your house again. and watch ayu becme best friends with your mum and watch wan drink kopi like bapak-bapak.
YOU GUYS WILL DO JUST FINE FOR EXAMS. =) i love you guys. and ive ditched MY FRIENDS to go watch dreamgirls with you guys. i cannot wait.and yes wan. beyonce sizzles.

okay,again i hate decisions.give me time please. i need to focus on exams. =)
dope, i think now you ve already got the stage presence. well done.

who do you need,who do you love when you come undone?

*brownsugar* rant at Sunday, February 25, 2007 .

im at home bored.supposed to at least make notes for exams but, im too distracted to do it.crap.

i cannot look you in the eye cause i know im the cause of the immense pain you're going through. you should just forget and just go.

i can't stand it cause i think wayyy to much and it's not my fault that i think but i just think cause thats what people do, they think and it makes everything more complicated. which is btw, absolutely not good.okay, the sentence don't make sense.really.

i've been just hanging out. eating.going for tuition. trying( emphasising) to study or smth but im always distracted. one fine day, i shall lock myself in the room, away from the idiot box and the laptop.projects have been fucked up this semester and my papers are so fucking wordy. it just stinks.

mostly, i hate waking up cause ill feel distracted and lost. i hate waking up knowing that i know what's good for me but being unable to stand by it. i hate the rage going through my head. i hate the misunderstandings. i just hate knowing im weak enough to make decisions, to do something right now cause it'll only end up hurting. i hate decisions.i wanted to go back. but i can't go into something i want half-heartedly. i want to make it all better now. i want to give it my all, but that's just what i can't do.

whatever i've said and done to/for you, it was truly from the bottom. it was at that point of time. but now, everythings just so messed up. everything. it not fun to pretend anymore. now, all i got to do is starightened myself up, clean up the mess, pick up whatever's left and make the best out of it. like ibu said, im still young and i will be sure of what i want when im wiser.

and, its been one of the bestest feeling being around and there are so much we agree with. i feel myself when im with you. that comfortable feeling, well, just made things more complicated. and you're always so kind, so understanding although i know it does get to you.thanks for the love and encouragement. i love a laughing buddy. and as much as i'll regret saying this, i do think timmy's pretty attractive. im sure you'll agree.

adriana lima is a goddess.

*brownsugar* rant at Thursday, February 15, 2007 .

For this past few weeks ive been pretty contented. besides having great people to hang out with, i miss hanging out with dope. i hope ill get to see him soon. it doesnt seem too complete not chatting up with him for some time.

im still in kind of a deep mess, only happier. much happier. haha. like, trigger happy. but just blame the projects. really mindfucked, thanks to projects.

i miss smelling the early morning breeze. i wanna go roller-blading or cycling.wished i had a bicycle. =(

well, i wanna thank you for the great times and all the funny lame jokes. you're a wonderful,great person. AND you should stay away from people who might make you complicated, or feel complicated. nevertheless, i love your company.

*brownsugar* rant at Monday, January 22, 2007 .

cold cold sunday.

to aaron, hahahahhahaha. i wished i hadnt told you bout the beanie. i swear i could have knocked myself out laughing if i took a polaroid of your 'panic' face. woah. funny.you know dark places to chill in TP, so weird. like bringing me to dark,sensor-useless IT labs were so seriously random. but it was cold, dim and all nice. nevertheless, i wished there was a face staring back at the both of us at that tiny square window. we'll have a freaking awesome story to tell everyone the next day.ouh wells.

underage party sucks. all the mats will dance and wear the 'topi letak'. i feel like teaching them how to relly really use a cap.well, i did have a little fun although it was short-lived.

chilling at simpang in the wee hours of the early morning. =)) i swore that chinese, racist friend of keemi is preety alright himself.

i know work sucks cause you dont get to chill all-the-same with your dear favourite friends and like the girls at ur workplace are very kanchong-spider-squared, and you wished your working hours were not fucked up. i hope thats all okay cause thats the reason its called work . maybe when someone buys me a bicycle on my birthday we can go cycling together. ahh.nvm,random.

im really going broke. no work, no money.chill chill chill.presents for birthdays. mampos lah aku.
fucking boring sunday, no one asked me out. nabey. im so pathetic ever since.... let's not talk abt it shall we. i need to learn to be happy, merry, to stop crying randomly and just be all smiley.

kudos to the late night cold-rainy weather but no kudos to the wet soggy shoes and slippery slippers and the cold cramps.ill never be contented.

*brownsugar* rant at Sunday, January 14, 2007 .

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something,
'Cause someday I might call you from my heart,
But it might me a second too late,
And the words I could never say
Gonna come out anyway.

most of the times, action speaks louder.

*brownsugar* rant at Saturday, January 06, 2007 .