.addicted.

i can't believe i slept like early and wasted my weekend working for idol. i tell you the job sucked. except for the company i had. nufail, hakeem, justin, adzfar and yeahs, ashraf and sab. it was good. tho the in-charged sucked. shes so freakin like analytic about everything. like the VIP goodies must be perfect. everything must be neat. yes we know but do you think they'll go checking ard and asking if their goodie bag is exactly a cut-copy-paste of the one next to him? ugh.

but we get to watch the idol rehearse again and again and again. it was damn cuckoo lah. again and again and again.paul looked like he was going to die anytime soon. nurul and gayle looked really jovial. esp gayle she was like dancing ard. ahha.and she's very sweet looking.really.and tanye chua has such a good voice live. seriously.gayle's rendition of unfaithful was really good also.but tanya's voice. it was really good.and the fans are crazy. they appeared on sat and sun when the idols were rehearsing. it was like crazy. they were staying there the entire day. crazy ppl.by the end of the job, i was too tired to even go for the idol show. but hakeem said that everyone should be there during the results. it was a defnitely goood show. excluding joakim and energy. and yes, tho i think jon is sexy. i think hady deserves to win. he's more versatile. =) congrats hady!

well, im going to work like mad these whole week. almost everyday. i hope not on the weekends la. i dont want to. =(

i dont know, this is crazy but i cannot wait for my time table. i hope we're all in the same lecture again. i dont want to be separated alone. ok then bye. =)

*brownsugar* rant at Tuesday, September 26, 2006 .

im really head over heels with this boy. really really am.

*brownsugar* rant at Thursday, September 21, 2006 .

This is the moment that you know

That you told her that you loved her but you don't.

You touch her skin and then you think

That she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.

Yeah, she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.

I spent two weeks in Silverlake

The California sun cascading down my face

There was a girl with light brown streaks

And she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.

Yeah she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.

Wanted to believe in all the words that i was speaking

As we moved together in the dark

And all the friends that i was telling

And all the playful misspellings

And every bite i gave you left a mark

Tiny vessels oozed into your neck

And formed the bruisesThat you said you didn't want to fade

But they did and so did i that day

All i see are dark grey clouds

In the distance moving closer with every hour

So when you ask "was something wrong?"

That i think "you're damn right there is but we can't talk about it now.

No, we can't talk about it now.

"So one last touch and then you'll go

And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more

But it was vile, and it was cheap

And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me

Yeah you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me .

What if i was her.what if all this was just something vile and something cheap?

*brownsugar* rant at Thursday, September 21, 2006 .

i went to my mum's house just now. it was good. fun and the maid, she's really nice and quick. my past maid was MAD.honest.i love my brother. i think he loves spiderman more than me. okays.

well, these past few days ive been sleeping at 4.30 and waking up at 11.its really bad but its weird cause i dont even get tired.or sleepy. sucks.

my boyfriend is using friendster as a base of our r'ship. stupid.

ive been following like ppl ard. to buy stuffs.cut hair. but it was good lah. at least im occupying my time rather than nt doing anything.

my dear best friend, im really really sorry for being inconsiderate. i was just pissed and couldnt be bothered. i AM bitch smtimes. i can be pretty irritating. im sorry.really. and yes, i hope you're doing fine now. better at least.

to rudy (tho he wont read the blog), im really sorry for your loss. my condolences. i hope things will at least get better. its not easy. i lost my dad when i was really young so i guess losing someone when you're younger was easier, but full of questions. at least you still have the sweet memories. appreciate those ppl who care about you. because before you knw it, the person might be gone or just change into someone you never knew.

shaikh, thanks for the suprise. it was nice. and yes, thanks for being there for me when im fucking broke.ill repay alllllllllll your money back when i get my pay.thanks.i love you.

*brownsugar* rant at Tuesday, September 12, 2006 .

im practically bored right now. im watching wicker park, which btw, i love.diane kruger is lawa nak mampos.sexy sexy face.im smsing nufail to ask her if we can meet later at simpangs. its been so long since i had teh there.and then i was thinking if i could bring my digi. for the fun of it.

well, i miss wada and dayana. im meeting them soon. yayness. east coast again. smelly kerangs, here we come.and wada excited to show me a new place. crazy woman.

well, i had a good time sheesha-ing with rahman yesterday night. it hink its the last time we're meeting before he head for the NS. the killer NS. hahas. well, i told him it wont be so bad. ill see him when he books out on the weekends. ten we can chill again.

im going to work like fuck next week. like practically the whole week.so yeahs, my days are gone. but i want to work. i need to work.i need moneyyyy.rahhhh.

*brownsugar* rant at Thursday, September 07, 2006 .

exams are finally over, thank heavens. i think my schedule this mth's gonna be fucked up. i wanna congratulate ayu frstly for getting to work on sundays at the maid-bangla joint. its a happening place. trust me. you'll meet a lot of people love. =)

sadrina, ayu, wan, linah and yes shirlyn, maybe we wont meet during the SUPP paper. i hope.hahs.ihope.anyway exams has been a whore.

went to attica for chris's birthday. with the whole crew and i must tell you, noodle looks happier and you know, jst really cheerful, really happy. im happy for you sunshine. all this exposure. and taufik. my dear boy, you looook fineeeee the way you are now.a little different but hey, absolutely gorgeous. you've got chics chatting you up. checking you out.

devil wears prada was terrific. i love that show. =)

my abeen has been pretty confused nowadays. about, you know i know who right? it seems so gay. all these guys. kan? kan? well, whatever it is, you know im always here for you right sayang. ive always been kan?! and youve always been there for me. i love you a lot sayang.

well, wan i had a great chat with you the other day and thanks for listening cause now, some ppl just dont bother to even listen to me.thanks a lot. ill trya n heed those advices. this is gay but i absolutely love my friends. always there. <3 this goes out to all of you.love you guys many okays. whatever it is, you guys have always touched me and make me engrave your names into my heart. i really love you guys. to bits. <3

well, maybe. just maybe, someone might just love me the way i love him, see me the way i see him, look at me the way i look at me, think of me the way i think of him, watch me the way i watch him, understand me the way i understand him. care for me the way care for him.
most importantly love me sincerely the way i sincerely love him and simply treating me the way i treat him. or with more respect. well, smtimes things just dont go your way.never expect anything, thats what ive told everyone asking me for stuffs, advices. never ever expect anything because if you do, you'll end up like me. i dont expect but well, it seems to _ that i expect so much. so im not going to expect. i wont care anymore. i really really really wont. mark my words. ill go out with anyone i want,come back whatever time i want to and do whatever i want to. until anger strikes.and then there comes the 'i cannot take what you've been doing. you've been acting like a slut.going out like nobody's business,ignoring my calls, not texting me back.not telling me where you're going,with specifically whom and give me random calls.fuck off you bitch, you think anyone wants to marry someone fugly like you? hell no.'

thats the time ill just smile. =)

anyway im getting married with whoever my mum chooses if im still single when im 28.so no big deals. love are for losers.

*brownsugar* rant at Monday, September 04, 2006 .